Monday, April 11, 2011

Injury Prone: Breaking My Arm. Twice. In the Exact Same Spot.

Which do you think are greater - The odds of getting struck by lightning? Or the odds of breaking your arm in the exact same spot, twice, in 11 months?

Sure, anyone can break their arm, but I've always been an overachiever.

Injury: Broken Humerus, which I certainly didn't find all that humourous (oh, c'mon, like you didn't see that one coming)

Sport: Sledding & Kickball
I would say "Competitive Sledding" if that made it seem more awe-inspiring, and I should also tell you it was kickball on ice.

Effectively impressed?

The sledding thing happened in my Mom's hometown. I went down the hill on one of those inflated rubber donut-y sleds.

I didn't see the jump some A-hole kid had built in the middle of the sled hill.

Seriously, parents, you're not doing your job very well if you let your kids build public safety violations in the middle of a public play area.

I'm not bitter.

As I was airborn, I tried, unsuccessfully, to hold on. I landed on my side, effectively breaking my upper arm in half.

Sorry, if that sounded graphic; it wasn't in real life.

My Mom was standing quite a distance away at the bottom of the hill, and in my pain-induced young child's mind I thought, "I need to let her know something is wrong."

So I started screaming at the top of my lungs.

I didn't stop until we arrived at my Grandma's house (luckily she lived nearby), and not even then, really. I think, once you get into the spirit of it, it's hard to stop. As a kid, you do realize the immediate danger is over, but now you've worked yourself into such a tither that it's the tither fueling your episode.

Luckily, I didn't have to wear an immobilizing plaster cast, but I did have a velcro brace that went 'round my chest and strapped my arm down. This always led to the somewhat-awkward morning question, "Arm under clothes or arm over clothes?"

Strapping my arm down underneath my clothes meant less jostle in the morning. Pain seems much more acute when you're not yet fully awake.

Strapping my arm over my clothes, however, meant I wouldn't look like a one-armed lumpy blob.

Usually I switched it up to keep things fresh and my classmates confused.

It was exactly 11 months later that I was playing kickball on the icy playground during recess.

Why was I playing kickball on the icy playground during recess, you ask?

Go ahead. I'll wait.

Well, I'm glad you asked, and allow me to answer your question with a question.

Why does any young child do anything that's clearly not in their best interest?

Because children are inherently stupid.

And my stupidity bought me another couple of months in the velcro brace/sling combo having to ask that awkward morning question.

Likeliness of Happening While Running: 65% if it's winter and there's ice on the ground, apparently.

__________________________________________________________________ Mandi

Current Couch Potato | Aspiring Runner:

Completing my first half marathon to benefit the Crohn's & Colitis Foundation of America will be a community endeavor. Won't you help me change lives?

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1 comment:

  1. That sounds painful. I broke my leg twice, but not in the same spot, I really can't imagine how hard that would be.
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