"I am sooooooooo athletic," she says with Valley Girl sarcasm.
And by "she" I mean "me."
Yes, that's right. I'm the picture of athletic-ness. Training for my first half marathon, captain of my high school swim team, full-back on my high school soccer team, knows what HIIT stands for and regularly practices it.
High Intensity Interval Training, see?
But I'm not really athletic. I just sometimes look like it (on paper).
Because, you see, the problem is that I'm actually quite injury prone. In the "broken bone and/or surgery" kind of way.
So much so that I've decided to launch a new blog series telling you just how athletic - or not - that I really am in an effort to stave off any future surprise and concern when I encounter my first injury during half marathon training.
Which could take place tomorrow, next month, or, heck, even after this lovely race and 6 months from now when I am in the midst of training for my second half marathon.
You never know.
But you've been warned; don't be surprised when something happens like this:
Injury: Nearly Dislocated Jaw
You know how in Harry Potter there's that ghost named Nearly-Headless Nick? Same thing, only it was a nearly dislocated jaw, I didn't die from it, and, therefore, I'm not a ghost.
It was an away game in Antigo, WI. So many of our team members had a choir concert that evening that we only had 1 substitute and she was the extra goalie. Our Sweeper went to clear the ball from in front of our goal and my head got in the way.
It was the "crack" heard round the world.
Okay, like, maybe 5 feet, but you know what I mean.
I dropped to the ground so the ref would call a time out and the stars would stop sparkling around my face. Our extra goalie subbed in and we finished the last 2 minutes of the game. We stopped at Hardee's on the way home and I got a milkshake, though sucking on the straw was rather difficult since I couldn't close my mouth...my jaw was swollen slightly open so I had a permanent scared/shocked-looking face.
I thought about stopping at the theater on the way home to see a horror flick...I figured it'd probably be the only time I would actually look scared during a late 90's horror film.
Instead my dad met the bus at our high school, and we went straight to the ER. The doctor said my jaw was only nearly-dislocated...a full dislocation of the jaw would be, oh, so easy to spot (I won't give you an image of that).
I spent the next 3-5 days dribbling milkshakes, jello, pudding, and any other non-chewable food in my constantly-"ajar" mouth until the swelling went down.
Likelihood of Happening While Running: 0%, thankfully.
Current Couch Potato | Aspiring Runner:
Completing my first half marathon to benefit the Crohn's & Colitis Foundation of America will be a community endeavor. Won't you help me change lives?
Follow | Donate